All Time Team
Now it’s really popular among us professional sports bloggers to fantasize what it would be like to put together a team of our all-time favorite players to ever play the game. In our inaugural post, we are going to do just that!
I want to talk about my all-time picks for baseball, this round. It’s my favorite sport. I started watching it with my dad at four years old. Plus, the history of baseball is so rich that these sort of “fantasy teams” are so difficult to pick. We’re talking about Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Jackie Robinson, etc. So…
Let’s get started!
Catcher: Bob Hanover
Most of you have never heard of Bob Hanover. That’s because he was my next door neighbor of sixteen years. And man was he just the nicest guy in the world. Let me tell you. First to say hello, last to say anything negative.
I picked Bob, because you’re going to need a nice guy at catcher. The catcher is the first to greet the batter, and Bob was always great at making you feel comfortable at his house. He’s the kind of guy that would look you in the eye and really mean it when he’d ask you, “How are you doing?” We need someone who’s going to check in with everyone on the field. Bring trail mix to eat between innings. And talk our ear off about WW2 airplanes. Or how else is this team, in Bob’s words, “Gunna get some fun”?
First Base: Albert Pujols
Greatest first basemen to ever play the game. This choice here needs no explanation.
Second Base: The Wolf Man
I realize that the Wolf Man is a weird choice for my all time second baseman—he’s taller than your average second baseman. Your Chuck Knoblauch’s and your Dan Uggla’s are at most 5’9” or 5’10”. The Wolf Man is a whole other beast. Standing at 6’5”, he sticks out like a soar thumb.
But through my full-proof VORP algorithms, I projected that the Wolf Man would easily be a 30-100 sort of player. With his wolf-like strength, he’ll be mashing balls into center field, daily. He’s Dan Uggla, if Dan Uggla was a wolf.
I believe it’s against the rules for a human to eat another human, so that might be a problem. I’m having my stat and rule guru, @DanChoiStats, check with MLB if it’s okay for a Wolf Man to eat another human.
Short Stop: A Lion
Fast, agile, killer instinct. Too easy.
Again, @DanChoiStats is checking to see what is to be said of that “eating” rule.
Third Base: Ezra Sutton
Here’s my bad boy of the bunch. He played for the Boston Beaneaters from 1877 to 1888. Consistent ballplayer. Hit 300 nearly every year. Nice glove. And a terrible racist/bigot.
I believe you need that sort of enigmatic personality to really put a spark in your team’s chemistry. @DanChoiStats says that according to our Team Chemistry to RBI output ratio, he’s the best at 1.1. His sound ties to the Ku Klux Klan and his involvement in several Catholic church burnings really force your team to pick a side, and ideally bond.
I just hope he can set aside his differences with Albert Pujols. Ah… we can only dream.
That’s it for now. Check in next week for the rest of my picks!
Trivia: Who would win in a hot dog eating contest—Albert Pujols or The Wolf Man?
Submit your answers. I’ll post the RIGHT answer next post.
